God has a unique way to show Himself to each of us. I am still not 100% sure why He chose cancer to reveal more of Himself to me, but despite my resistance it has been an extremely effective method. He began setting this path long before I knew it so that I could travel this road with as much “ease” as possible. Here are a few things He placed in my life over the last few years…improved overall health, my loving husband became self-employed (flexible time), a supportive and loving church family, an amazing supportive work environment and supervisor. There are many other specific details of how God has directed me here. Just know that if you ask and if you really look, you will see Him in the chaos. It is like the flood water rose without warning and pulled me into the rushing water, but it is a smooth ride. Sounds strange huh? Calm in the storm? It’s real.
You may say…wow, how is she so peaceful about all this? Let me be honest. I threw a temper tantrum that would rival any toddler when the thought of cancer first entered my world. I demanded that God choose somebody else. I refused to have the “c” word be part of my story. I cried, I screamed, I kicked my feet…you know…I acted like an angry toddler. Slowly but surely, God began to show me that this journey has purpose. I am not sure exactly why I have to do this, but I am sure that God is in it. I am positive that I will come out on the other side stronger and better for having fought this fight. God is faithful to show me the “why” along the way. I pray daily for glimpses of how He is using my experience to change me and those around me.