They educated me about all the possible side effects. They gave me tons of printouts and information about what would likely happen. So why is it still so traumatic when it actually happens? I know it has been a little while since my last blog post. I have been in one of two states–I don’t feel like it or for a brief time I felt too good to sit at the computer.
Here are a few things that have happened since I last visited with you. I lost my balance and fell hitting my chin and chest on the night stand. No stitches or blood, but it did “demo” the wall behind the night stand knocking out the power and pushing the electrical plate into the wall. Shawn very graciously went to Home Depot and got the supplies and fixed my efforts to destroy the wall. I am very thankful that I was not injured more than bruising and a swollen lip and chin. The hit to my chest missed my port by about 2 inches and the hit to my chin didn’t break any teeth. My blood counts were too low for me to get treatment this week. I am getting injections to stimulate my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. This medicine can cause bone pain. I’ve had some, but it is tolerable. I am just so tired these days. My hair started to come out yesterday. Clumps just came out in my hand. I expected it, but it still broke my heart. Shawn was a trooper. He told me to close my eyes and he shaved my head and threw all the hair away. I am ok with it now, it was just really hard to see it happen. So, when I look in the mirror, I see a cancer patient looking back at me with a head scarf and surgical mask.
My treatments will be delayed at least one week because of the low blood counts, so that throws off my timeframe for getting on with my life. Then I remembered something I heard at the women’s retreat at church this weekend…God’s timing is perfect. So, if I believe that then I have to know that the delay is necessary and right. I am thankful that I felt up to going to the women’s retreat. I was able to connect with ladies that I knew at a distance at church and I experienced renewal and reassurance that God is with me and I am not alone.
Sometimes things don’t go according to plan and sometimes they do and it still knocks us for a loop. Be kind to others. You don’t know what they are going through. Smile at them. Make a connection by just looking in their eyes and acknowledging them. You have no idea how much a perfectly timed smile can mean to someone. Trust me, I know because I was that someone this week.